Watching children cuddle and play with dogs can be one of the most endearing and joyful images to behold. We probably all have seen or experienced firsthand glimpses of kids thriving with dogs. Whether it has happened by chance or through a series of carefully curated encounters, it really is a special thing. When things go well, it is wholesome and adorable! Oxytocin, aka “the love hormone,” is flowing and our hearts feel full!

It can’t be understated, however, how important it is to take safety precautions when introducing children to dogs. At face value, kids and dogs are actually highly incompatible. It often baffles and impresses me how dogs are capable of handling the stressors that come along with children. Unfortunately, sometimes they are not. So, in order to avoid a bite and to ensure the safety of your child or the children meeting your dog, the #1 rule I live by is: ADVOCATE FOR THE DOG! If you keep the dog safe, the child will remain safe too, and everybody wins!

Now, what does this mean? In order to advocate for the dog, you need to understand and follow a few simple guidelines!

*Understand the incompatibility. Children are often fast-moving, loud, spontaneous little beings. Young children may hit, grab, pull ears, and climb on the dog. Some dogs may tolerate this, but they do not like it. Some children are at face level with the dog and like to hug and cuddle them. Most dogs don’t like hugs. To a dog, a hug feels like being restrained. The majority of dogs thrive on predictable routines and outcomes. Children are unpredictable—they do what they feel when they feel it. In addition, some dogs have prey drive that is triggered by fast-moving smaller creatures.

*Understand canine body language. Empower yourself by learning what your dog is trying to tell you with their body language. When advocating for your dog, you need to know their early warning signs of stress. Are they leaning away from the child? Licking their lips? Yawning? Panting? Side-eyeing? Tucking or turning their head away? Are their eyes tense? All of these are signs of stress and indications that the dog needs space. What you want to see is a “happy face”—a dog with an open mouth, tongue out, eyes smiling, and ears relaxed to the side of their head.

*Understand a growl. Did they growl? Did they raise a lip? Don’t punish the growl! A growl is a gift. Your dog chose to tell you they feel extremely uncomfortable, without using their teeth. Respect what they are telling you. If you punish the growl, they can learn that growling is bad and skip the growl next time—and go straight for a bite.

*Understand your individual dog's stressors, triggers, and thresholds. Every dog is unique in how they experience stress, and which triggers they can brush off and which push them over threshold. Stressors stack up on dogs, just like they do on people. Knowing your dog’s triggers and thresholds can greatly improve your chances of successful interactions. Is your dog having skin allergies today? Maybe it's not a good day to add more stressors on top, so skip letting that random child touch your dog. Did the gardener just come to the house? Maybe not a good time to have the neighbor's child over to run around. These are just examples of common stressors that may be adding up inside your dog before they are expected to conduct themselves around a child who will likely bring many more stressors to pile on top.

*Understand how to greet. There are many nuances to greeting, especially when talking about introducing a shy dog versus an exuberant dog. The main guideline is: the dog decides if they are comfortable greeting. Let the dog approach the child—not the other way around. Do not force the dog to approach. If they don’t feel like approaching, let the child know your dog is feeling shy today and move on. Expect and enforce the dog using manners. If they are not under control, they are not ready to meet. Have the child sit or stand calmly, holding their hands at their sides, not reaching out in front. Do not let them reach out at the dog. Watch the dog’s body language. If the dog approaches and sniffs the child and seems comfortable, let the child pet the dog under the chin—not on top of the head. If your dog likes their rear pet, the child can pet the area you know your dog likes, but calmly. Look for consent. Have the child stop petting after two seconds. Does your dog want more? Did they lean in for more or lean away? Look at their body language the entire time. Advocate for how they feel. They may have wanted to say hi and changed their mind—that's okay! One useful strategy to have a child interact with your dog instead of petting them is to have the child reward your dog for a simple cue, like “sit.” Put a treat in the child’s fist and have them close their fist. Ask your dog for a sit. When they sit, the child may open their fist and present the treat to the dog, palm up. If you advocate for your dog, you won’t accidentally put them in a situation they didn’t want to be in and can’t handle.

*Understand that advocating for your dog may mean saying no. It can feel embarrassing and maybe even disappointing if you have to say no to someone—even your own child—interacting with your dog. If you are watching your dog’s body language and they aren't comfortable, not allowing the interaction is the safest thing to do. Dealing with a bite is much more embarrassing and scarier. Let the child know that your dog isn’t feeling well today and move on. If you are in your home, create a safe space for your dog to relax where the child cannot enter. The dog needs to have space free of the stressors and triggers that may lead to a bite.

As a trainer, I focus on studying dog behavior, canine body language and communication, and advocating for the success of a dog in their home. Helping families with dogs understand and carry out safe interactions with children keeps dogs in homes. It also creates the ability to realize that picture-perfect image of a dog and child living truly happy together. 

Kimberly McAllister, Dog Life Inc.