August 23, 2013 Deborah Barnes said goodbye to Mr. Jazz.  She wrote a book  “Purr Prints of the Heart – A Cat’s Tale Of Life, Death and Beyond” to share her feelings.  After reading the book people shared their story with Ms. Barnes, she realized she was not alone in her pain.  Others needed a place as well to share and heal from the loss.  Ms. Barnes decided to honor Mr. Jazz by starting Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day on the day Mr. Jazz passed.

Too often we pet parents and pet professionals hear that it was just a pet, get over it.  Pet parents are told to go to the shelter and get another one. There is no getting another pet to replace the pet you lost, each pet is unique and we have special relationships with every pet.  Pet Professionals are told there be other pets for you to take care of. Pet professionals sure there will always be other pets that need our care but we develop a bond with these pets and it hurts when they pass.

In grief there is no “getting over it”.  Whether we are a pet parent or pet professional, we can work through some of the pain but pain will always be there. By not working  through the grief it will turn into Delayed Grief* which can cause anger, depression, fatigue and many other symptoms. Delayed Grief happens when you deny the grief possibly due to no support or you listen to others who say to just get over it.  That is why a day like Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day is so important.  It gives us a day to feel heard in our pain and it gives a place to focus our pain. 

Some of the ways we can observe the day can vary depending on how you feel and what you are comfortable with.  Below is a list of things you can do.  You can pick as many or as few as you want.

• Reminisce with Family and friends

• Share on Social Media and #RainbowBridgeRemebranceDay

• Look through old photos 

• Light a candle and think of the good times

• Buy a piece of jewelry in memory of your pet

• Support an animal charity

• Create a memory box

• Plant a tree or garden

• Visit their favorite spot

• Take a mental health day

This is just a partial list of things we can do to remember and honor our pets. You may have something in mind that the two of you shared.  Try to remember the good times you had together. Truly that is what your pet would want for you!  

I will be lighting a candle, looking at photos and laughing/crying about the funny things my Bun did. 

If you feel you are experiencing Delayed Grief please find a professional counselor (https://www.aplb.org/) or a support group.  NAPPS has an open grief support group the fourth Wednesday of the month at 8 pm EST, all are welcome.  

*Delayed Grief: https://www.talkspace.com/blog/delayed-grief/

Joni Sullivan